On Ignorance...

me: I swear - I hate stupid people more each day

it's unreal

by the time I'm senile, don't be surprised if I get locked up for beating the shit out of a teenager at a grocery store for forgetting to ring up my coupon for adult diapers

I DO like Sunchips...

[11:10] RoXyAnGeL: Marcelle had to go to a wedding over the weekend and she said it was the most red neck wedding ever
[11:10] RoXyAnGeL: she had to walk down the isle with a guy with a mullet and no teeth
[11:10] RoXyAnGeL: and they served meat balls and sunchips for their dinner
[11:11] RoXyAnGeL: and kentucky fried chicken
[11:11] RoXyAnGeL: i think you and Lisa should follow that

The Movie Theater is Expensive

me: let's sneak in the back
one of us will pay and then open the back door to the theater
just like we're 12 again
Dan: I like it
Then we can dig a large popcorn out of the trash and get a free refill
me: now we're talkin'
don't forget soda cans in your jacket
and your own tub of melted butter
Dan: If you put a stick of butter up your ass, it melts while you walk in.

Driving to the hockey game

[14:29] RoXyAnGeL: did josh tell you i got lost
[14:29] jktangent: hahaha no
[14:29] jktangent: what happened
[14:30] RoXyAnGeL: they gave me an address to punch in to meet them for parking so i wouldn't have to pay, so i typed it in and i call them and i was like i'm here!
[14:30] RoXyAnGeL: and they asked where i was and i was like umm...i'm in front of a gated mansion
[14:30] jktangent: hahahahahaha
[14:30] RoXyAnGeL: and hes like ummm i think you're in the wrong zip code
[14:30] RoXyAnGeL: stupid garmin
[14:33] RoXyAnGeL: i'm glad jaime came back with me cause i probably would have got lost in the garage
[14:35] jktangent: hahaha
[14:35] jktangent: you just need more exposure to driving
[14:35] jktangent: I blame mom
[14:35] jktangent: she is so terrified of you driving anywhere, that you never get any experience doing it
[14:36] jktangent: and as a result, you end up parked in front of a haunted mansion thinking you're going to a hockey game
[14:36] RoXyAnGeL: lol
[14:36] RoXyAnGeL: i should have buzzed the gate and started chanting HOCKEY! HOCKEY! HOCKEY!
[14:38] jktangent: hahahahhaa

The New Puppy

Sarah: you're getting him today you said?
me: yes - leaving in 20 minutes
and bringing him straight home to teach him how to do back flips
Sarah: haha
me: and you'll like his name - we're calling him Koopa :-)
Sarah: lol, what a geek
thats really cute though
me: he's got little legs just like the guys in mario!
and if/when he learns how to breathe fire, he can be called Bowser
Sarah: "if/when" lol
me: I can't wait
he's gonna piss and shit everywhere
it will be awesome
Sarah: HAHAHA
yeah the potty training phase can be really frustrating
thats why god makes puppies so cute - so you don't kill them

A (Frustrated) Boy and His Blob

Jaime: I wonder if in the new Boy and his blob game if you have to get your underhand jellybean throw just perfect or you'll overthrow the bean and that fat fuck will just give you the sad puppy dog face, and not turn into an umbrella like he's supposed to.

Knife Proof

[09:13] Starlight: if you didn't brighten my day, I would see if you've figured out how to be knife proof lately
[09:13] jktangent: wow
[09:13] Starlight: LOL
[09:13] jktangent: again with the stabbing
[09:13] Starlight: I SAID IF YOU DIDN'T BRIGHTEN MY DAY!
[09:13] Starlight: what about that?!
[09:14] jktangent: when are you going to learn that i AM knife proof
[09:14] jktangent: I think that's the real issue here
[09:14] Starlight: hahahaha when you start breaking blades off between your pecs
[09:14] jktangent: touche

Tales From the Clit

Lisa: there are the most obnoxious noises coming down the hallway
me: haha uh oh
Lisa: the room across the hall from me is having auditions for a zombie movie or something
student produced
this morning i heard a girl moaning and i thought someone was having sex in the classroom at 8:30am
me: maybe it's zombies having sex - did you ever think of that?

I don't think that's why I want a Corgi

Kyle: why a corgi
me: so I can train it to bite people's ankles off
Kyle: ah..i thought maybe they just had the loosest a-holes or something

No More Breakfast?

me: I have no idea what to make of this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYqM9-Fj0Pg
me: that woman looks so unhappy

Lisa: that woman looks like she's fantasizing about sausage
me: hahahahaha
Lisa: a very very far away look

I'll probably get a funnel cake

Kyle: what u up to tomorrow night?
me: not sure yet, why
Kyle: there is a beer and food pairing at livewire
me: is that like speed dating for beverages?
Kyle: haha yea i think so
when you're done with the dinner food you get to screw a cake
me: that is exactly what I've been looking for